She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
