I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
