well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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