no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
