I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
