hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
