Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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