I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.