i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
