WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.