The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
