Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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