nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
