I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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