i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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