i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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