why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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