I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I smell stomach acid.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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