yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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