So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
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All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
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As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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