woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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