my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
