Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
