Well douche your snatch and let's go!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.