he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
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My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
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That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy