Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
Well my cheeks are red now
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.