His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
now i know why i became what i already was.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
