everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
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I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
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They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just blew my weed a kiss
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds