also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I think pants incapable of making pants work