Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
