he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!