I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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