The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them