I wish you could order shots online.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful