And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
