Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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