Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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