Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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