It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
