god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Is Oprah even human
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize