She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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