nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
