That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
