i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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