I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
