So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
