Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
this will be a night to untag.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
