Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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