Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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