Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
