the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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