Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
