So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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