If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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