1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
you win again, gameday.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
