Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
