I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
