She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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