Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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