I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
