i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
