what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
