I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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