..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
