it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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